👀 Dressing for Mocos, Back to School
Plus, a how-to guide to decorating your dorm room
Welcome back to the Lookaway. It feels like everyone’s conflicted on whether or not to address the elephant in the room. The C-word is back on campus, and I’m not talking about my sophomore-year girlfriend. However, if Fox News has taught me anything, it’s that you can’t get sick if you don’t get tested.
👕 Reminder: You have until THIS THURSDAY to buy the “I’m High” T-shirt. It’s perfect for everything from Mocos to job interviews. Buy the shirt now →
Decorating your Room for the Fall
It’s already September, and the fall semester has begun. For seniors that means off campus homes, for sophomores and juniors that means living in frat houses or a new dorm that looks like a prison designed by Elon Musk, and for freshman that means dorms. But for all, it means a new year and new totally unique decorations.
Whether you’re living on the hill, in a dorm, or in a house owned by your favorite slumlord, Campus Hill, I have the decorating advice for you:
Wallpaper: Nothing says “I’m a girl from Westchester” like white brick wallpaper. It looks perfect in the background of your tik toks, accentuates your LED lights, and will make any guy go “Huh, is her wall brick?”
Saturdays Are for the Boys flag: If you try and rush without one of these flags, you will be cut. If you bring a girl back to your dorm and she doesn’t see this on your wall, she will automatically assume you are gay. This is a must have for any guy planning to work in finance who isn't technically an alcoholic but actually a functioning alcoholic.
Furry Rug: Will you ever vacuum it? Obviously not. But believe me there is nothing more valuable in the world than having a fluffy furry rug to pass out on after a night of drinking. I would also assume it is great to have passionate floor sex on, but, as a man of Christ, I am doomed to lead others to a treasure I cannot posses.
Poster that will inevitably fall: Do you own command strips? Do you want your paint to be ripped off your wall? Do you enjoy having random things fall on you at 5 in the morning? Then this is the product for you.
Television: Will you ever use it? Obviously not. Will you watch television exclusively on your laptop? Of course. But like obviously you need a TV. Shut up, Mom.
Photo of your family: No dorm room would be complete without one small awkward photo of your family sitting in the corner of your desk making any girl or guy you bring back to your room (I don’t judge) weirdly uncomfortable.
Your room will inevitably become either your sanctuary for studying or the place for pregames, so make sure it looks nice. Don’t be that guy without any decorations, you’re not in prison…yet.
Ok, It's Not Funny Anymore: One Week Of Normal Classes Is Enough
As an Engineering major, I have neither the time, nor the innate aptitude, nor even the desire for social interaction of almost any kind. So, naturally, the COVID lockdown was basically my dream come true.
I mean let's face it, Zoom classes are the best (and possibly only) thing to happen to Lehigh education since the adoption of blackboards in the 1860’s. How else can you avoid speaking for days on end in a discussion based course by claiming your audio doesn’t work? How else can you get attendance credit for an 8 a.m. lecture that you slept through? And, most importantly, where else could you binge drink alone during finals week and still pass all your classes?
The point is, the return to in person classes has been a traumatic experience for focused, dedicated engineering majors like me, or as the business students so rudely put it, “total fucking nerds.” We’ve added a year and a half to our existing social delays, and we don’t even get to ease back into things slowly? Yesterday I had to ask a professor a question by actually talking out loud, and everybody looked at me. Today I found out that I have a Lab Group of four people that will rotate every two weeks. What’s next? An engineering department social? Please. Stop the insanity.
Think about it this way: who fixed your laptop by clicking the update button, or assembled your IKEA shelf because you didn’t know what an allen key was, or turned your electricity back on by flipping the circuit breaker? That’s right. A future engineer. So regardless of your major, it’s time for you to stand beside us as we petition Lehigh to let us stay remote indefinitely. And if that’s not enough to convince you, just remember, you’ll never have to see us again unless your laptop screen turns that weird blue color, isn’t that incentive enough?
If you need me I’ll be having a panic attack thinking about walking into the department office to pick up an overload form.
Mocos Dress Code: a Guide to Day Drinking in Style
After your first weekend at Lehigh, you’re probably wondering to yourself, “what am I even supposed to wear to mocos?” Great question. As the Lookaway’s Style-Guru-and-Pop-Culture Correspondent, I’m here to tell you that the ethos of mocos attire is expressing a sort of passive coolness — a post-ironic sort of over-the-top expression of the natural conclusion of party culture. Obviously.
So here are the Do’s and Don’ts of Mocos:
Glitter for your face: Absolutely not. This is not Coachella 2017.
Glitter for your panty line: Absolutely. Turn your razor burn from embarrassing red bumps to really cool shiny red bumps.
Cut Offs: Do. Male thighs are all the rage nowadays. If you can pull off the coveted mullet + jorts look, then be ready to peak in college, because your life is literally going to be over after this high you’re riding.
Amazon Two Piece Sets: Absolute DO, but only if you tell everyone it is vintage and thrifted. There’s nothing better than the satisfaction of letting everyone else know that you “Actually Care for The Environment” while still looking like the polyester baddie that you are.
Ironic T-shirts: Maybe. Walk this line very carefully. If you are a hot dude, nobody has any expectations for you, so go ahead and be lame. For anyone else, maybe swap out your wolf-howling-at-the-moon tye-die for literally anything else.
Prison Jumpsuit: Absolutely yes. This tells people one of two things: “I have no problem being tasteless” or “I am a liberal with opinions.” Either way, you get attention. So go for it.
Hard Hats: Not over-done quite yet. Trend forecasts predict peak of this style will be spring ‘22, so for the time being keep sporting the plumber-chic aesthetic while protecting your head from any beer cans being chucked by any and all Lehigh Baseball rejects.
If you take anything away from this article, remember that the way you look is the most important thing about you, everyone is always paying attention to you, and life may be fleeting but being cool in college is forever.
Before you go,
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